Writing wedding vows that don't sound like everyone else's

The single most-remembered moment of any wedding is usually the vows. Not the dress, not the cake, not the first dance - the vows. And yet most couples leave them to the last week and end up writing the same paragraph everyone else writes. Here's how to do better.

Three honest principles

1. Write to your partner, not to the room. The guests are eavesdropping.
2. Be specific. "You make me laugh" is forgettable. "You laugh at your own jokes before the punchline" is a person.
3. Promise something. A vow that does not promise is a compliment in disguise.

Prompts that work

• What did I think of you the first day we met - and what do I know now that I didn't then?
• What is something small you do, every week, that makes my life softer?
• What promise do I want to make for the boring days, not just the big ones?
• What do I want us to still be doing when we're 80?

Structure

A simple, reliable shape: one memory – one observation – three promises – one closing line. Aim for 90 seconds spoken. Read it aloud. Rewrite anything that makes you self-conscious.

"The best vows I have ever heard at an Irish wedding were exactly four sentences long. Length is not the point. Truth is."

Greg works with every couple on their vows - privately, so you both still surprise each other on the day.